as the man thinks, so he is

Sometimes I do wonder if realizing my dream meant to be a dream. It just got me so worried and tired that I wanted to give up, but you always tell me that I can do it. I guess I have already defeated by my own thoughts than any challenges suppose to be coming along. Maybe I should just dream about being ordinary, loving God and people, falling in love, getting married, nurturing a child and grow old with you.

can i love you

Sometimes I do imagined I'm the main actress in the drama, falling in love with the Mr Perfect Guy and a happily-ever-after ending. I guess it is every girl's dream and fantasy.

This is one of my favourite drama, My Girl, that makes me go gaga. Though it's quite some time ago, but this video really makes me teared once again.
happy valentine, in advance.

!@#$%^&*()

every time when i got real upset,
i want to cut myself,
but think again,
it's just too kiddish.
it's the silliest thing to do,
to gain attention,
and to vent my anger.

i'll be just a fool.

surprise me and melt my heart

I guess I've never really did a good post with lotsa photos ever since I got my first camera myself in 2008. Those photos I owned since then really hold gigabytes, and each time it took me the longest time to upload and resize them, just to make sure there's still enough space on my laptop for future usage.

Sometime I still gotta browsed through and removed those really unglam shots, because I, especially together with O, took literally every moments of our lives. I know it's crazy, but this is ever true.

There are times where as I could stay in front of my camera for hours, just to get a pretty shot of myself, and I guess at the end of my stay-home day it could be another folder. I know this may sound totally lunatic and extreme self-obsessed, but this exploration really bring me to great love with photography and it does helps in boosting my self-esteem and confident.

I know it isn't a place where I should find my self identity but it is methods that I used to tell myself that I am presentable. Confession like this really helps to build up your views toward yourself. Angles of shooting really does teaches you of viewing the different perspective of lives and things as beautiful--a piece of art--just as the Creator wanted to be.

I love being behind and in front of the lens, I couldn't express the enjoyment I have, but probably be that I want to bring out the beauty that ones couldn't see or realise. I always love to get involve with visual, as it tends to be more vivid. Often said that, action speaks louder than words, so if you love someone you'll show by acting on than saying a million of "iloveyou", and a picture speaks a thousand words, so sometimes it does helps me to sum up everything like this.

Looking through folders of my collection of my candid memories, there are tons to be shared and I do wish the important people of my life to get involved, visually. So I guess I'm gonna do a summary from 2008 till then, pardon me if I take like forever to be done.

love isn't hurtful

when life get too mundane, your everyday seems like monday. never ending of boredom, never close to your stardom. everybody work for fun. work for, money to have, fun. where as for me, i work to kill time, sound so aimless but i guess i'm i'm in the state of dilema. now, it's time for a quick lunch nap, charge up for the rest of my day.

open up the closed door

What type of personality do you have?

Kind and Gentle

Your kindness is your charm - you are also gentle and sweet. Everybody likes to be around people with your personality. Like a psychologist, people like to talk to you to discuss their problems because you are proper and discrete, as well as confident. You look mature and people respect you. People with this kind of character are few and far between.

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

The clothes you wear

What others see from your style

Although to the untrained eye you may seem like a plain dresser who avoids trends, you actually wear carefully designed accessories and clothes that emphasize your uniqueness. You value your freedom and have an artistic mind. You are neither aggressive nor timid, but you believe in yourself.

What your nightclothes reveal

You are friendly and always in good mood. You are candid and helpful, and can be sexy at times too.

What others see from your ties

You are outgoing, energetic and trendy.

What others see from your belts

You are a lonely and demanding person. You are hardworking as well as intelligent, and can be passionate when in love.

What others see from your shoes

You like to be the center of attention. You like to look good at all times and probably never leave the house without makeup on. Although you may be intelligent, you're also insecure about your looks. You care about others, and will always listen to what they have to say.

What others see from your earrings

You are probably an independent and strong-willed person. Fairness is important to you, and you always stand up for what you believe in. You are friendly and get along well with people.

The last analysis

You are probably a romantic and passionate person. You are sensitive and lonely when you aren't in love. You can be somewhat self-centered, but you are honest and sincere to others. You like to make a good impression of yourself and worry about what others think of you.

give a meaning to the name

you know the feeling that you will never be able to express?
that feeling of getting head over heels with you,
that makes me drew a heart at the city of your name.

love.

all things happened for a reason

When everyone was having fun, counting down and welcoming the new year, here I am, unable to get up and bring myself over to 2010. I guess I need plenty more time to be lively from deep within again.

Once again, I am really grateful for those friends and relatives for being around when my family and I were so devastated and lost. I guess I wouldn't be a pillar to my family without encouragement from you peps.

A special thank to A for trying to be by my side as much as you could, just to assure that I have someone around in the shortest distance. Thank you for hearing those emotions that I keep away from crowds. Thank you for sacrificing all the fun you suppose to have and stay devastated with me. Thank you for exchanging those smiles with your presence. Thank you for hugging me and said you want to take care of me for the rest of your life.

Thank God for everything even though bad things do happen. Thank God I have a good father, who live for 50 years, watched me grew for the past 18 years and a beautiful memories which only we would have. Though my dad passed away, but it's a peaceful one. I've learn that even if he was saved, he would be a vegetarian, thank God that he didn't had to suffer.

Now, daddy, rest in peace and you will be in our heart forever. One day we will meet again and I hope you had met Jesus. He hasn't forget about you.

winter is only a season long

I gotta get up and get dressed up.

wish you were here

my bestest friend, how are you doing? hope you are doing well. wish you were here. you make me feel confident again when I feel so worst. you make me feel I am worth when I feel useless. you advice me when I don't know what to do. you never fail to care for me when I need it the most. I miss you and I'm glad that you know.

(via audreyhepburncomplex)

a silent confession

Alex Foo...

Happy 21st, what a nice cake you've got!

May you have a blessed year ahead. I prayed that your walk with God will get fresher as each birthday years knock at your door. Do welcome them with excitement as every year gonna be better. Meanwhile, keep on keeping on with your tough days at army. Tough times don't last but tough man does. They are just for temporary, for the greater things are yet to come and that's the result of a mound man with greater capacity.

I am always here. Thank you for being part of me, and you are greatly appreciated. I'm sure that's not the end for a 21st birthday, there are more to come, plenty from me! I am awaiting for your next book out I'll keep on running too, you get what I mean, see you real soon =)

i need a digi cam badly

It has been so long ago since I last sat comfortably in front of this mini netbook of mine to do some writings at late night. I am so caught up with work and each time I got home I would only wanna laze around the house till the clock strikes eleven. Again, I would be awake by the 5 alarms at my alarm clock and phone, once more it is work and this goes on.

Mundane is what I hate, even doing what I like. I need a rotate once in a while, else, I would feel extremely limited, just as how I did these few days. So what? Life goes on, that's reality! I want a getaway, a shopping spree, a relaxation spa. Break-outs upon break-outs, and my complexion is never as polished again. I would say students have the most enjoyable lifestyle though study took up majority of their brain cells, but still it's an awesome occupation!

you belong with me

this is top on the chart. and i just love how this MTV plot.

fancy free

Sun's single out now!

canon in d

It's an interesting advertisement.
I just love Canon in D, the only song I want to learn on all instruments.

you got me head over heels

I'm waiting for my noodles to be ready, thus slacking right in front of this screen.

Oh yea, this is the second week of my work! Admin job, 9-6 could have bored you, but not here. I'm doing perfectly fine and enjoying every bits. Really thank God for this blessing, I guess it's great!

People are really nice and fun, tasks are fairly assigned, work isn't that boring, location is almost near my house, pantry is so homey, my desk is my favorite hang out place during breaks, and most of all, pay is relatively good!

6" x 4"

There are so much to take down in the days of my life, but my camera is down. A picture speaks a thousand words, and I had millions.

radiate

" my soul satelite is telling me

someone's watching over me

eh eh eh

closer than my heart beat "

trust His heart

My Father’s way may twist and turn, my heart may throb and ache.

But in my soul I’m glad I know, He make no mistake.
My cherished plans may go astray, My hopes may fade away.
But still I’ll trust my Lord to lead, for he do know the way.
Tho' night be dark, and it may seem that day will never break.
I pin my faith, my all in Him, He make no mistake.
There is so much now I cannot see, my eyesight’s far too dim.
But come what may I’ll simply trust, and leave it all to Him.
But by and by the mist will lift, and plain it all He’ll make.
Through all the way tho’ dark to me, He made not one mistake.
(unknown)

snap shot beautiful

photography is...
capturing the today,
reminiscing the yesterday &
living the tomorrow.

captured the moment that can only be playback in mind, but never live out again.

rose has thorns

that night, I finally broke down.
in tears, I was so helpless.
feeling inferior, I became little.
I tried to suppress my emotion.
toss and turn, still not gone.
in darkness, I cried to Him.
why like this, broken heart before Him.
His peace then put me to dead log.

nothing about life, but everything about living

I was born on a Tuesday and since my birthday...

I've been living for 18 years

I've been living for 220 months

I've been living for 6,715 days

I've been living for 161,164 hours

I've been living for 9,669,883 minutes

I've been living for 580,193,026 seconds

My heart has beaten more than 676,891,810 times!

never found more true

i don't have to dream, reality is beautiful, in you.

truely, deeply, madly

“I'm not supposed to love you.
I'm not supposed to care.
I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there.
I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you do.
I'm sorry I can't help myself, because I'm in love with you."

it's all worth waiting for

"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on.
One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you, the one who turns to his friends and says, that's her."

i just want you

More than a nice melody.

More than the sweetest of words.

This is the love I have found,

And with this love I am found.

[ads] online anywhere

Every weekday, I will take at least an hour from home to school. You know train ride is so boring, how I wish I could have something better to do, like surf the net on the go?

Now, check this out: 

"Live Life Online Anywhere with SingTel BroadBand on Mobile Youth Plan! Visit www.singtel.com/youth for details."

mangosteen

one of my favorite fruit.

it probably describe me very much? unique. interesting. look hard on the outside, but rather soft when you press it, just like how you first get to know me. the sweetness in it could make you fall deep in love. its nutrients are just like my goodness that you have never know.

the first time i tried, it immediately took up the largest brain cell. it has been so long and yet so vivid. i'm still greatly in love, till today.

it's the season now=D

half-time

I don't know what prayer I made last night, this morning I woke up feeling so different. A conviction at my heart. A change in thinking. An energy within.

As I headed to school, the Lord gave me a word that makes me reflects so much. Half-time! And I began to asked myself, how long more do I still want to be late, how long more do I just want to scrape through what has been assign to me, how long more, just how long more. It really put me in deep thoughts, and I almost missed my stop.

"Is this the max?", I questioned myself as I stood in front of the counter, waiting for my card to be scanned. I looked at the clock in my phone, just in time, again.

Praise and worship started. I praised joyfully. Worshiped with all of my heart, and His presence fell onto me. I asked God to take all of me, break my heart for what break His and I teared like never before in SOT.

Come rather prepared for sermon on the mount, was entirely alert. 2 chapters in the bible that takes 10 minutes to read, but a lifetime to understand. Pastor Bobby talked about brokenness and those words are like double edged sword that pierced through my heart. He ministered. God used him to speak to me.

"Do not give up!"

At times I don't know if I am relying on God. Rely, how? Am I doing it right? Perhaps, I guess I'm not, because I feel weary. I feel like I am coming to the end of myself, and I guess this is when we will learn to total surrender.

my emotions take a ride on a carousel

Someday I flew in the widest sky.
Someday I drown in the deepest sea.
Today I lied on the bed in my deepest feel.